Cultivating Connected Relationships Through Somatic Healing and Parts Work (IFS)

It's easy to blame someone for their lack of attunement, reciprocation of care, or focused attention on you. Instead of blaming, let's reflect and bring light to our blind spots.

Think about a past relationship: Did you hide your vulnerability? Did you communicate your needs with an open heart and clearly? Did you stay in a relationship you knew wasn't right because it filled a void within you (you were attached)?

If you want to experience and enjoy a fulfilling reciprocal relationship, the empowering question to ask yourself is: HOW DO I NEED TO CHANGE TO HAVE WHAT I WANT?

Let's define a fulfilling reciprocal relationship. I would say it looks like mutual sharing and receiving of each other's feelings, needs, desires, and boundaries (and stories, play, or anything else) in ways that create more connection, not less.

So, maybe you didn't actually share your feelings, needs, or desires as much or as well as you could have... Maybe you ignored your discernment because you got attached, so you didn't respond to your organic impulse for boundaries... Maybe it's something else...

In any case, this is all so perfectly human.

So, how do you become resilient, so you are able to communicate vulnerably and respond appropriately in relationships, at any time? How do you work with the parts that hijack your system and repeatedly play out patterns that don't work or align with who you want to be?

I love the foucs on embodiment with Somatic Experiencing. It is about tracking your felt sense, where you build your capacity to be with the wild and even unpleasant sensations that accompany activations (being triggered), so more of You is available to be present and to lead, instead of your fight/flight response or unhealed parts.

It helps you to undeniably identify and trust your feelings, needs, desires, and boundaries because you practice experiencing these things, so they become natural.

As your skills grow, you begin to know and trust yourself more. The sense of security enables you to share more vulnerably of your Self with partners and friends, rather than hiding your vulnerability.

I also love Internal Family Systems parts work (IFS). This is how you help the parts of you that seemingly interfere when you want to show up a certain way, like with curiosity and an open heart, but don't and can't for some reason.

And, there's a good reason why these parts do what they do. In parts work, you find out why. You befriend these parts to find out what they need, so you can provide it, which results in healing for your parts.

This frees you from having parts with unresolved pain attaching to others in unhealthy ways (aka: a trauma bond). It's deep, beautiful, and invaluable transformative work.

It helps you lead from your open-hearted and expressed Self while also being more able to truly listen and understand others, even amidst activations that inevitably come up in relationships.

You can become more able to respond appropriately to situations. And if something truly isn't right for you, you aren't so attached that you can't communicate authentically or even end a relationship because you are more secure and trusting in Self.

You can feel more secure in asking for what you need and want, clearly and openly, in a connected way.

If you desire fulfilling, mutual relationships and recognize the importance of personal growth work to become the person who can create those kinds of connections, I'd love to explore working together. This is what I do and how I help people in my work, and it's my own developmental process and healing path that inspires and guides me. I love helping people realize where they can empower themselves to create more fulfilling connections with others.

You're a good fit if you understand it's a transformational process and that a handful of sessions won't deliver the relational results. I don't want that for either of us. So, expect that after connecting with me and confirming we're a fit, we’d be committing to minimally a 6-12 month period of working together.

This is deep, healing work that unfolds over time, and we cannot force your nervous system, or push your parts do something with an agenda.

Our sessions are designed to cultivate resilience and Self-leadership in all your relationships over time, so you can be met, fulfilled, and connected. If you're interested, please email me to schedule a free initial conversation over the phone.

More connection, not less! 🥰