Stop Protecting Yourself From Intimacy - Protect Intimacy from Collapse

We often want others to hold and meet us so perfectly that when it doesn't happen, which is inevitable, we feel hurt, scared, and destabilized. Old hurts get activated and the present moment becomes blended with the past.

The default operation is backwards.

The real healing is not about figuring out how to make them meet you.

Healing is not about blaming them for being inadequate.

Healing is when our bids for intimacy are aligned with what another person can resonate with us about.

Healing is our capacity to enjoy what people are available for.

Healing is when we do not ask others to hold what they can't.

Those are boundaries, and boundaries prevent collapse.

And what happens to the part of you that yearns for deep resonance mirrored back to it?

That part gets to meet the most incredibly available person. YOU.