Trauma Healing: A Unique Approach to Addressing Chronic Pain

If you struggle with chronic pain and don’t have an obvious reason for it (like a torn tendon); realize your body is providing the signal of pain because there is healing that needs to happen, and it requires a different kind and level of attention than you have been giving it.

I will share an example below, but first, let's clarify the three most common mistakes individuals with chronic pain often make. They hate the pain, they are focused on getting rid of it, and they avoid feeling it.

As understandable as those things are, the reason they are all mistakes is because the answers and healing are hidden IN the pain. There’s a potent way to access the pain’s message so it can let go. It involves this two-step process:

1. Learning how to be open-hearted towards the pain.

The part of you that hates the pain doesn't have to change. But it can give you space so more of YOU is available to give your presence to the part that is hurting. This gives you some space from being so identified with the pain that you can’t see anything else. From this place of spaciousness, you can get acquainted with the part of you that hurts and find out all about it. Where does it come from? What is its message for you? What does it need?

2. Building your capacity to be present with the sensation.

After doing step one, you will feel less reactive towards the pain, helping you be curious and compassionate to this part of you that is struggling. Rather than feeling it all at once, you learn how to get into a state of calm capacity, and then bit by bit, in a slow process, you edge into feeling it while intermittently going back to the more resourced and capable space of a calm nervous system. The process never goes beyond your ability to stay present, or surpasses what is tolerable.

This process can lead to the miracle you’ve been praying for, and often has nothing to do with actually having problems with your joints, muscles or structural alignment, and everything to do with deep, soulful listening to parts of you that are being (understandably) ignored and need your attention.

Consider Annie, a client with chronic neck and jaw pain diagnosed as TMJ. Despite doctors and various treatments such as massage, chiropractic, Reiki, and sound healing, the pain persisted.

In my 25 years in the healing arts, I often observe clients trying repeatedly to heal pain with physical or energetic therapies without success, highlighting the need to address it differently because not all physical symptoms are actually rooted in physical issues.

Back to Annie. She shared how frustrated she is by the incessant pain, and how worried she is that something is wrong with her. She shared that she felt something was wrong with HER, because her body wasn’t responding to all the things she tried that “should help”. 

I invited Annie to ask the frustrated part, the various judging parts, and other parts that showed up, to give HER more space. By asking these parts to just step back a bit, it acknowledges them without trying to get rid of them and gives Annie more presence to be with the pain part. This is called unblending and is an on-going process woven into all sessions when parts come in. Sometimes a part that chimes in needs reassurance or something else before it will step back. So we respect that and flow with the process.

I also guided Annie in nervous system practices to help her feel relaxed, calm and more available and present in her body and as a whole. Many people find themselves yawning in pleasant release and relaxed in their body, surprisingly easily.

From this foundation, I invited Annie to begin sensing into her jaw tightness. When we feel more resourced to start with, we have more capacity to be with small intermittent dips into discomfort. At one point I invited her to nod her head left and right, like how we do to say “no” and we hit the jackpot. 

Each time she did the movement, she sobbed both in relief and the discovery of a very scared and young, hurt part of herself that was impossible to access previously because of all those other parts would step in and block the process, in an effort to protect that young part from feeling more pain, and shame.

Our sessions moved forwards by focusing on:

• A very young part lacking the ability to feel safe focusing on herself.

• Another part equating her value with silence

• Another part that tried to not be demanding that attempted to need as little as possible.

• A managing part shielding her from touching on the vulnerable young parts above.

• A criticizing part that devalues anything Annie wants, thinks, feels, or needs.

As we connected with each part, the neck and jaw pain gradually released. 

We’re still working together because the combination of insight, pain relief, empowerment, tool building, and access to Self has been immeasurable.

This work can't be rushed, following the pace of your nervous system rather than the urgency to feel better. If you're wrestling with chronic pain rooted in deeper issues, this approach may be for you. It's perfect for those willing and able to commit to weekly sessions for six months.

This process combines my decades of healing arts experience with two powerful tools: Somatic Experiencing, a trauma healing therapy working with the nervous system, and Internal Family Systems, a method for working with parts that creates more access to your essential soul self that knows how to care for your other parts with an open heart.

While I can't guarantee 100% relief from chronic pain, if you value personal growth and healing, this work promises a transformative journey with the possibility of pain relief as well as trauma healing that will benefit your life in ways that are so new, they are likely unimaginable.

In my six-month intensive healing program, chronic pain is one of the main things that we work on in order to go from hating your pain and feeling miserable about it all time, to unwinding the pattern by opening your heart to the part that is hurting and providing it your exquisite presence from a place of calm, centered, curious, courageous openness.

We also work with all the parts that reveal themselves during the process that need to be tended to, while building resilience in your nervous system that helps you have more capacity for presence and attunement in all aspects of your life. Email me if interested and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

P.S. In the beginning of this post I mentioned this process would be effective for chronic pain that doesn’t have an obvious reason like a torn tendon. I also want to add that sometimes chronic pain that results from accidents actually are unresolved because during the accident you were taken by surprise, had to deal with it by yourself, didn’t receive attuned care, or something else. In those cases, this process would also be appropriate and potentially life changing.