Are You Stuck in a Dead-End Relationship?

Why do you continue to give up so much to stay in a relationship that you know isn’t working? Even if you’re afraid to face the loss and change, sometimes the empowering path forward is to break up.

If you value growth and you’re committed to doing the healing work to positively contribute to your relationship, but your partner doesn’t value that and isn’t interested to meet you there, face it, you’re in a dead end relationship.

This causes a lot of emotional stress and resentment, and you will never be met how you want and need.

You likely got involved without a clear sense of your core values, beliefs, and boundaries— all the things that are fundamental to your identity and well-being.

This puts you in a position, once you’re attached, to compromise about things that are actually not negotiable for you.

Over time, the concessions you make to sustain the relationship take a huge emotional toll that is often underestimated, potentially causing long-term harm to your mental, emotional, and even financial well-being.

It’s normal to fear losing what you love about them, but at what cost?

You might believe that you need to take responsibility for resolving the relationship issues, otherwise you will attract the same pattern again and again.

This is outdated thinking.

For example, breaking up can be the action you need to take that demonstrates your self-worth.

Also consider that our society supports compromising and staying together.

But some relationships are truly meant to bring us specific gifts and healing opportunities (to each other) temporarily, and are not meant for the long-term or marriage.

Sometimes people get married young and realize what their values are much later in life; or over time, one or both of your values change.

Then you’re faced with the decision about following the truth of your heart and soul or staying in the security and stability of what you’ve worked hard to build together materially and otherwise, but it comes with a cost.

There’s no right or wrong here, just a choice.

You can choose to stay, and accept the consequences.

Or decide to trust the change you feel called to make in your soul. Then your life can easily and freely be an expression of your values, without that constant strain at the core of your intimate world.

Either way, it’s important to accept who you truly are, and maybe moreso— to accept who your partner is, now.

This then allows you to release the way you might be trying to make the relationship into something it isn’t, and realize what it actually is.

If you’re reading this and resonate with something so far, you likely already know your core values don’t align with your partners and there’s no amount of healing and growth that will change that. It is what it is.

No amount of “healing” can make you fit into a situation that isn’t right for you, and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, or them.

When I work with someone who’s in this kind of situation, they don’t come to me saying “I want to break up”, they simply come feeling upset about their relationship and wanting to feel better.

And then the real healing and growth work can begin: getting you firmly connected to your feelings, needs, desires and boundaries. (I explain how I do that in other posts, you can read them.)

Whether you stay together or not becomes secondary to building your empowered foundation of feeling more whole and trusting in yourself.

You may end up realizing your relationship is over, and if so, I help you move through that ending with more ease, love, trust and gratitude, rather than in fear, anger and resentment.

You may realize you are not revealing much to your partner, that you don’t communicate vulnerably, and that you project a lot— massively contributing to the disconnect. In this case, I help you learn new relational skills to help you see your part, to open up, and risk revealing who you are so you can discover how your partner will respond when you show up.

Whatever happens, you can move on from being stuck either way.

If you’re aware you’re compromising on things in your relationship that are detrimental to your well-being, my 12-week 1-on-1 program is designed to help you get clear, calm, and connected, to YOU so you can move out of the stagnation you’re in and take action based on what you discover about yourself in the process.

Each time we meet we work on building your capacity to notice, value and trust what you feel, need, and want. We access this reliably and deeply from what is happening somatically (in your body).

The goal of doing this repeatedly is to help you be empowered so you can communicate and make decisions from a place that is connecting AND aligned to your inner knowing.

It’s about establishing that path where you access your inner truth and reinforcing it, every week in our sessions, and with the little homework exercises I sometimes give you between sessions.

Helping you come home to yourself after so much compromising of your needs and boundaries so you can consciously choose how to proceed in your relationship is just one of the things I do in my program.

I also help you release the accumulated emotional stress (trauma), and to help you build an unshakeably empowered foundation …skills you have for the rest of your life.

We do this using somatic work, inner child and reparenting work and you’ll learn how to express your feelings, needs, desires and boundaries vulnerably in ways that invite connection while staying true to your non-negotiables.

Several other blog posts on my website describe each of those processes in detail, read them, too.

This 12 weeks with me is aimed at helping giving and loving people who struggle to be met the way they give in relationships, or to help you attract a relationship from an empowered and integrated place so you choose a mutually supportive partner with someone who matches your fundamental values.

Email me if interested and we'll chat to see if it's a good fit.