​I GET OFF ON CONFLICT

When I see how you show up when you're triggered, or during a conflict, argument, or disagreement, I find out exactly who you are and what you're bringing into our relationship.

We all get triggered.

If we try to hide our reactivity, bypass our nervous systems or pretend everything is okay…

When inside, we're REELING, upset, scared, or spinning…

Everything will inevitably come out {unconsciously} as more hurt anyway, so why not just expose your sh*t a bit and mine your relationship for the gems that will organically sift to the surface and sparkle through the mud?

We have a belief that it's not acceptable to simply admit that we’re totally triggered. No one teaches us to be so attuned in the moment to say, "I'm triggered right now lover, can we slow down?"

We think we need to hide because our parents basically told us to be quiet and stop crying... 

…but the truth is, without these activations, and without coming OUT, we don't get to see, feel and demonstrate who we truly are.

We need to meet our wounded spots with more love, not to restrict them from being present. 


Trust isn't built on NOT getting triggered with each other.

Trust is built in how we take responsibility and repair when we DO get triggered, reactive, and act out.

I’m inspired to go deeper with you when I see how invested you are in being aware of your triggers.

I relax around you when I witness you slowing down and sourcing from within when you’re upset.

I feel trust building when I experience you taking responsibility after acting out, blaming me, or projecting, etc.

I love you more and more when I feel the impact of the repair work we do together. In fact, I get turned on.

It's through this ground-level repair work, it’s in the seeing and feeling of how someone shows up after a messy spot that real trust and grounded love is built.

That’s why I get off on conflict. More love, not less.

It's also through dedication to slowing down, leaning in, and vulnerable admissions and accountability that we cultivate trust, build love, and create a foundation that says…

​I’m committed to working through the bumps with you.