I feel so ashamed when I think of how many times I have agreed to do things I didn't truly want.
It’s way more times than I like to admit.
The conditioning of women to serve others first is so engrained in my (and in the collective) nervous system, it took me years to feel safe enough to actually commit to turn my attention towards MYSELF.
What a concept???
And now it takes a serious commitment and practice to stay attuned to myself, especially in deep relationships, and sometimes it’s a serious struggle.
Can you relate?
When I reflect about it, I see that underneath going along with things to keep a sense of safety (the "fawn" trauma response);
...underneath the conditioning to please others;
...underneath the pressure to fit in and go with the flow within a group or partnership;
...is basic self-abandonment.
And there's more! This can easily be turned into such a diligent quest to not abandon ourselves that we become hardened and armor against flowing with anyone or anything at all.
This isn’t quite the spot where life flows either.
Being autonomous and free without being in connection is a dry and brittle existence.
So, what does it take for a woman to realize, in the present moment, literally as life unfolds, what her actual desire is?
It takes a willingness to stand fully in owning it. And, it takes connection and trust in her own heart, body and soul as a path to fulfillment.
These are things she can learn. These are things that are available with commitment, good modeling, practice and support.
When she owns her desire, with no wavering, no hemming and hawing, it isn't hard. It isn't armored, boundaried, or closed.
It's actually HOT.
It's a delicious and nourishing softening opening that aligns perfectly with a woman's organic nature and she flows and feels fulfilled. It's not even about getting the thing, it's about attuning to the real yearning and owning it.
When she focuses her attention on exalting the pure, crystalline truth and felt sense of what she actually wants, yearns for, and DESIRES, she explodes with aliveness and becomes a conduit for life.
When she claims this, she attunes herself to the majesty of life's magic. She becomes life itself, a generating force of radiant, moving, light.
When we change the focus of our attention from reacting to patriarchy (so much armored, hard, painful, lonely NO!!!)
...to claiming and igniting our desire, we commune with the source of infinite creativity.
I'm not saying to stop using discernment and boundaries. Hell no!
On the contrary.
Having discernment and boundaries is fundamentally based on knowing who you are.
The more you approve of and listen to your heart, body and soul, the less your boundaries arise out of reaction.
They become an expression of your potent aliveness, without the resistance, without the charge, without the look on your face, without the tone in your voice…
So women, I ask you…
WHAT THE F%CK DO YOU WANT?
What does your heart yearn for?
Are you longing for deeper intimacy, more connection, more enjoyment expressed through all you do?
What is your soul whispering to you?
Are you ready to dig the voice of your soul out from the mud and invite its exquisite guidance?
In what ways is your body giving you information to perfectly guide you?
What if you learned to listen to your body as a key source of wisdom? The messages from the physical pain, the anxiety in your belly, and the chronic tension in your jaw, neck and shoulders...?
Here's a myth buster: your desire does not lead to suffering!
Your desire leads you to a solid, grounded awareness of your truth, and it leads to your softened open, pleasurable experience of life and freedom.
Desire is the beginning, not the afterthought. Are you ready to claim it?
Do you want to ignite your desire in every cell of your being?
I've created a program for a few (6) select women who are committed AF to tapping, igniting and embodying their desire as a path to fulfillment. Come learn with me and change your life.
If something you just read has you vibing and tingling, schedule a free call with me.