​DESPERATE FOR SUPPORT

I was on a discovery call with a potential coaching client earlier this week.

I could feel that she was in a lot of emotional turmoil, and I wanted to know who else was helping her navigate it all.

When I asked her what kind of support she currently has in her life, if any.... she burst into tears.

"None. Just friends, but they don't really get it."

Her need and yearning for quality support and direction was undeniable and beyond what friends could really offer.

She needed help navigating a painful, major life transition that was pivoting her path substantially.

She needed empathy, attuned questions, accountability, tools, and grounded feedback and direction.

~ ~ ~

Our video chat flowed really well, and by the end of it, I felt a deep resonance with her. I knew I wanted to work with her so, I made her an offer to work with me.

I was very specific about the outcome we would be working on based on what she shared, as well as the number of sessions, the time period and the cost.

I also felt in my body that I was clearly on the spot with her and the core values she was seeking to build on.

I felt like I was really getting her, where she was and where she wanted to be. I knew it would be great if she said yes.

This is the place I want to be when I start a new coaching relationship. I felt excited about it.

I asked her how she was feeling about me, and everything she expressed was mutual.

AND, even though there was this palpable energy and resonance with BOTH of us, and it was so apparent she wanted the coaching, and needed some type of support, regardless...

Her immediate reaction to spending money was RETRACTION.

Even though she scheduled a discovery call to see if I resonated with her…

And even though she felt her desperation for help in her bones...

Even though she had recently paid a significant sum for her son to receive therapy, without a moment's hesitation.

Even though she had just bought a new kitchen appliance without a thought...

She hesitated. Retracted. Looked scared.

Why?

Sometimes the realization that WE WILL HAVE TO SPEND MONEY ON OURSELVES to get our needs met feels like a slap in the face from life.

It's shocking.

Paying for help somehow says “I’m not good enough because I can’t figure this out on my own.”

So we wait months, years, or we never get the help that will move us directly into our fierce, creative, embodied and soulful aliveness.

We’re more committed to being stuck, maintaining our obstacles, and somehow getting off on our suffering and victimhood because we are scared…

And because we won’t VALUE help enough to simply pay for it.

But paying for and valuing help that clearly meets our needs is actually a profound declaration to life that we ARE worth it.

It’s a signpost that says, my havingness is a priority, I GET TO HAVE what I deeply desire. I'm not talking about frivolous bullshit. I'm talking about intimacy, purpose, creativity, and living an inspired life that feels in alignment with our core...

The retraction around spending money is a smokescreen, and behind the veil is our resistance to facing our pain, our real lives, and doing the work - because it’s scary, hard, and {fill in the blank}.

We’re afraid to feel alive.

We're deeply afraid to the feel the grief of what we've already lost.

And, life is always there for you. Waiting to respond to you when you show up and commit to it.

It’s rarely about the money.

~ ~ ~

She accepted my offer.

And, it took a minute.

A minute to remember the part of her that reached out because she knew she needed help...

​A minute to realize that making the commitment financially was the FIRST STEP in the recovery process she wanted.

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