When someone says yes, but you feel their no, how does that feel in your body? Do you lose trust in them? Maybe on a surface level, if they are sacrificing their needs so you can have YOUR preference, a part of you will grab onto it and run because it means getting what you want. But is that really what you want?
I want to know and feel in my body that they are taking care of themselves, that they have total self respect and aren't sacrificing unless it's a conscious decision. AND, when someone has the courage to say no if something is a no, I feel their empowerment and it's sexy as hell! They become more attractive and trustable to me, whether they are a friend or intimate partner.
When someone says no, but you feel their yes, how does that feel in your body?
Do you ache for them to choose to stretch into the abandon and enjoyment of what the yes will bring? I certainly do!
Or, do you feel a bit pressured to help them get to yes? I'm happy to give encouragement yet I don't want to be held responsible for getting them to yes and create a pattern around that.
We must own our NO and YES.
This isn't a discussion about sex (although it could be), it's about daily living, making plans, hikes, movies, who's driving the car, what's for dinner, ...the most mundane things.
Through each courageous truth telling, we open to deeper levels of intimacy by revealing ourselves. Stop waiting for others to reveal themselves to you first.
I want others to trust and honor me in my no and yes, as much as I want them to reveal their truth to me! It's sexy! You don't have to manage or be responsible for anyone's choice but yours.
Be you and see how life meets your heart.